Now I can’t listen to their music. Blegh.

Looked on tumblr. That was a mistake.

And that’s why it’s perfect. I retain almost complete anonymity on this site. Which is why I can talk about things I can’t discuss anywhere else.

I have a box of clothes. These clothes I’ve missed for a while. A medium shirt I was sure had just disappeared because, lets be honest, why would anyone have wanted it. A pair of underwear that were my favorite for so long. Gone and back again. Pants I used to wear every day while I gamed. One shirt is still missing, but I believe it has been destroyed in the collateral damaged of this on going war I’ve waged for as long as I can remember. I have missed these pieces of clothing. Some of them were my favorite and that I believe is why they were lost for so long. Now that I have them back, I still miss them. I miss what they once represented. It was a simple time, this time now is no worse, but that time was just simple. There was no try, all that mattered back then was the clothes and the person wearing them. I have changed, and now these clothes feel alien to me. How can I wear these sweatpants again? I stop typing for a moment to rub my face, and my hands smell like those clothes. Like I can remember what was happening the last time they were worn. These clothes were out of my life while I was busy “finding” myself. And now they are back and I feel just as lost. I wish I could throw them out or destroy them, but like a hoarder I can’t do that. That would destroy the memory, the attachment that I have to my past. I am angry when I look them. I see the person lost inside that box. I see who I could have been, and who I should be. But I was busy “finding myself.” These glasses helped me see I guess you could say.

In the dark one searches only for the light.

And not for help to aid him through the plight

The endeavor is done, exhausted of his might

Perfect vision they say, is called hind sight.

I was once very close to a friend of mine. As of late we have grown apart due to dispute and my want of a better life for him. I love him as a friend, and you could almost say a brother. I spent many of my “alone” years with this boy and he was a good friend to me. He once took a picture of a couple at an airport. Two young people, apprehensive of each others company. I feel sorry for the boy in the picture. I’ve since seen the man, he is bitter.

On a crowded street corner surrounded by people all alone. Pain in the heart, rain in the dark.

He is alone in crowded rooms, he retreats into himself. I have had many conversations with him and he resents a lot of the choices he has made. He resent a lot of people. He is bitter. He is arrogant. He is Strong. He is cold, and he is bitter. I have asked him why he is so angry at the world, and he doesn’t know. “Stupidity, no one thinks like me. People are too soft.” I don’t think he realizes that people cant be as hard as he can. Nothing can hurt his feelings because he wont allow it. He’s not emotionless, he cries at movies. He cried when a relative died. That was probably when he was the most weak. I sat with him and friend of ours in a car when it happened. It was scary to see him like that. He screamed and cursed, hitting things, blaming the world, blaming god. He was so hurt, and so alone. When he needed help most every friend he could call a friend didn’t understand. I only understand it now. He pushed everyone away and kept them at arms length, that when he needed help he had created a barrier and EVERYONE knew that it wasn’t safe to go in that place with him. He was angry and one slip up would result in hurled insults and sweeping attacks of character and intelligence. I ask him from time to time why he is this way. He just kind of blankly stares at me and pushes the question away. But I know why, I see the answer even if he wont tell me. It was her that did this to him. She broke him. She taught him that you can’t keep anyone close. Close can hurt you. Close can break your soul. Close will define loneliness when absence has come. I went to his graduation with him, she wasn’t there. I was there when he became something better, something more than himself. She wasn’t there. I pity this boy, he will probably never understand happiness that he can find in people. I don’t think that he wants to. But I wish that he would.

He will wait for you but only until the train departs,
and then he’ll be gone.
But you’ll move on just as others do
the countless souls of those who came before you.
But not he, you will reside with him.
Scar tissue on his brain.
A constant reminder of a time long ago,
when he did not feel the pain

I am inept. My inability scares me. Im scared that I can’t predict the future. It is this fear that will make me hold onto everything. I am human and I am scared.

Pick 5 TV Shows you like before reading the questions.

• The Office
• Archer
• Breaking Bad
• How I met Your Mother
• Dexter

1. Who is your favorite character in 2?
Archer, or Lana

2. Who is your least favorite character in 1?

False. I have no least favorite character.

3. What’s your favorite episode of 4?

100th Episode. Girls vs Suits

4. What is your favorite season of 5?

either 3 or 6

5. What’s your favorite relationship in 3?

Jesse and Walt

6. Who is your anti-relationship in 2?

Cyril and Lana

7. How long have you watched 1?

4 years

8. How did you become interested in 3?

Sadly, this year.

9. Who is your favorite actor in 4?

10. Which show do you prefer 1, 2, or 5?

My heart is in Scranton

11. Which show have you seen more episodes of 1 or 3?

The office, by a LONG SHOT

12. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

Barney OFC, well actually probably Ted

13. How would you kill off your favorite character in 5?

Self Suicide when he becomes aware he’s a true monster =X

14. Would a 3/4 crossover work?

GOD NO.

15. Pair two characters in 1 that would make an unlikely, but strangely okay couple.

Toby and Oscar, I dont know why, but i’d love it.

16. Overall, which show has the better cast, 3 or 5?

This is actually hard. Cast??? I guess breaking bad, but dexter is so good. 

17. Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

HIMYM. “To score a ten would be just fine, BUT ID RATHER BE DRESSED TO THE NINES!”

That’s what she said”

-MS